Milo has a store in Brooklyn. He sells all kinds of stuff: rat bait, marital aids, car parts, and out the back he's got a nice selection of semi-used armaments. I like Milo, I really do, but, having just watched him try to hard sell a high mileage tank to a distinctly middle easty type looking guy, I had to ask if it was really the right thing to do - selling weapons to the last people on earth who should have weapons (people who want weapons)...

"..Yeah, I know what ya saying, I do. A lot of people say that; they say that arms dealing is immoral and that people like me should be stamped into the ground, like a slug, or a millipede or something. But look, where would we be without bugs, huh?
Think about it...
I mean, the eco system, right?

See, if I didn't sell this stuff, then people would just buy it some place else. And even if you could stop the arms trade, people'd just go make their own.. like a stone axe. Stone axes.. Let me tell you: getting killed with a stone axe is no joke - in fact it's nasty.

Personally, I'd much rather get run over by this tank here, than to be brutally bludgeoned to death with a stone axe; a stone axe isn't that sharp, not the way a modern axe is. So even when the guy gets you down, and is finishin' you off.. it could take a long time, you know? I mean the guy might have to hitch'ya over and over, right? That's a terrible way to die - very traumatic. And even if you survived, you'd probably have brain damage.. You could end up a vegetable, or even worse - you could be almost a vegetable and be fully aware of it. That's horrible. And that's not even getting into insurance issues.. Very traumatic... And then you'd die in the end anyway...

Where as, if you could get yourself run over by this tank...

See what I mean?

People are very quick to react when they see something like this tank rolling towards them.. But you gotta consider the angles of a thing like this...

Look, the world is full of terrible ways to die.. There are thousands and thousands of horrible ways to buy it, and they all suck... You know the kinds of things I'm talking about... It sucks - it really does - and if I could stop it, all of it, then I would - I swear to God. I would give everything to stop it. But I can't; it's just how the world is, my friend.

You know?

So, relatively speaking -
considering all the terrible options and scenarios -
getting run over by a tank: it's no big deal.."

© copyright cb salter



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