Somewhere in South London... (...or New Jersey)
"Whatcha doing?"
"Website."
"What, another one?"
"Yeah."
"What's it about?"
"F-ck off, I'm concentrating."
(peering at screen) ".."Winona Ryder - the Anti-Christ" ? What.. is that a joke?"
"No. It's a serious discourse on the metaphiscal distortions of religion in the post modern world, as well as a warning concerning the terrible and actual danger that is currently going unnoticed due to media bias and societal dogma. Now please go away."
"How can Winona Ryder be the Anti-Christ?"
"...What?"
"She's a woman."
"So??"
"The Anti-Christ is a bloke... Like Sam Neil, in that film.."
"You what?"
"Omen III, The Final Conflict - Sam Neil plays the Anti-Christ."
"Who's Sam Neil?"
"An actor. He was in The Hunt for Red October with Sean Connery, remember? He was the Russian second-in-command who gets shot at the end, and he says he would like to have seen Montana.."
"..That submarine thing?"
"Yeah. The point is, in Omen III he's a bloke, right? Sam Neil is a man because the Anti-Christ is a man.. or he would be if he were one..."
"Really."
"...The Anti-Christ is the son of satan. He's a male, but Winona Ryder isn't, so she can't."
"Oh I see; she happens to be a female, so she can't be the Anti-Christ, is that it? Is that what you're saying?"
"Come off it.."
"Listen, if she wants to be the Anti-Christ, then she can be the Anti-Christ. I think if a girl wants to be the spawn of satan then she should have that choice... This is the 21st century..."
"Tosser. She doesn't even look like an Anti-Christ."
"You what?... Look, it's obvious. It's obvious... The Dark Lord isn't going to have his earthly incarnation going about looking like an Anti-Christ, is he? He's not going to be seven feet high with a black cape and a strange, foreign limo, with henchmen and red-eyed dogs, is he? No. He'll be the exact opposite. He'll be someone who no-one would ever even suspect..."
"..Winona Ryder.."
"You think I'm joking, but I'm not. The signs are all there... it's all falling into place..."
"...You're collecting clippings again."
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead - mock me, my friend, but you'll be first on the rotisserie when the day of transformation dawns.."
"What the f-ck are you talking about?"
" ..She'll be 33 this year. 33 - That's the Age of Transformation."
"Age of Transformation? Where d'you get that - Reader's Digest Guide To Spotting Anti-Christs?"
"No, I got it off a film, but it was based on facts, on carefully researched historical texts; the guy turned 33 and he transformed into The Beast."
"Was it Sam Neil?"
"No, it wasn't Sam-fuking-Neil!"
"But it was a bloke though, weren't it! That's what I mean.. That's two Anti-Christ films and they were both blokes."
"That was a film! Obviously it's going to be a bloke, in a film, or people wouldn't believe it. But I'm talking about the real world. I'm talking about the actual lurking festering evil, that's preparing to burst forth, like a tidal wave of, of evil!"
"..Winona Ryder""Yes!"
"You might get sued for this."
"What?"
"Well, if you go around calling people the Anti-Christ... I mean, they might sue you, for defamation or something."
"Don't be ridiculous. The Anti-Christ isn't going to sue anyone. Why bother...? Come to think of it... that'll be further proof...."
"Didn't you have another website where you said that Winona Ryder should be the president of America?"
"That was a joke, this is serious."
"...And didn't you have a website that said she's an alien sent to gather data for a possible invasion?"
"F-ck off. That was a joke."
"...And did you, or did you not, send her a love note in which you compared her to the martian in the Daffy Duck cartoons?"
"Look, please just drop it, alright? Before I have to kill you."
"I mean, come on mate... mate - you're obsessed."
"No? No? It's not an obsession!"
" ... "
"..Okay, so maybe it's a bit of an obsession. But that's all it is. It's just a slight.. obsession... It's not like I've got a shrine.."
"What about that site where..."
"That site is a tasteful, artistic and respectful tribute to a fine thespian, that's all it is."
"Sure."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You said 'sure'."
"So?"
"The way you said that, you said 'sure,' but you actually meant something else. You meant to say.. what you were thinking was that I am obsessed and in need of extensive psychotherapy, didn't you? Didn't you?"
"Sure..."
"...But I still think it's stupid for the Anti-Christ to be a woman."
"Well, that's because you are still living in the past, my friend, along with all the other patriarchal-power-control-crypto-fascists.. Where as I am attempting to liberate my mind."
"So why not say she's God then?"
"Well, you know, if you're going to start talking blasphemy then I'm going to ignore you, okay?"